Bratty Little Mocoso Snot-nosed Kids

If you don't want kids to like you, then don't, please don't make these Mexican-style paletas.

If it's fun to scare little children with your nasty presencia. If the mere thought of living and dying alone, unloved and unmourned, amidst the stench of rotten half-eaten Mc Donald's hamburgers, leaves you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside—then it is a very foolish thing to even think of making these delicious and healthful treats made with fresh spring and summertime fruits like mango, watermelon and coconut and pineapple. You see, if you make these paletas, all those screaming little brats with their mocoso—snot-nosed faces will come flocking to your house and you will never have a moment's peace. Why ruin a good thing?

Well, I've come here to destroy your summer's day and the rest of your poor miserable life as you know it.

Because I'm going to take you on a fantastic culinary journey to Tacumbo, a town in Michoacán, México, where the townsfolk have erected a statue of a giant popsicle to honor the Birthplace of The World's Best Paletas. Then I will fly you back to relive those chunky peanutbutter smog-filled days of my Los Angeles childhood, where my own young self is sitting on the curb, looking hot and bored out of my little mind. That is until El Paletero (The Popsicle Man), with his dark Indian features wearing his white native garb and huaraches on his feet, looking so out of place as to make one think that he was beamed up and has now landed in another world (he has), comes walking by with his cart, shouting ¡paletas! ¡paletas! at the top of his lungs. You will see my look of amazement when I sink my teeth into those natural tasting paletas made with fresh fruit, some with fresh chile bits, others cool and creamy like the one studded all over with huge pieces of pecan. Next, you will taste my madrecita's own sweet paletas made from a simple mixture of smashed bananas, whole milk with a little bit of sugar and vanilla, making my sisters and me the happiest muchachitas en todo el mundo. And then perhaps you will tell me, if a life with no little children with smeared paletas faces in it is a really a happy one after all.

But, if you enjoy the pitter-patter of little patitas. If you love being told, "I love you," by a honest little person who has no desire to impress you. And, if that somehow makes you believe that, despite your foul disposition and changeable ways, you are not such a bad person after all, only then will you be truly deserving of a fresh fruit paleta inspired by the tasty little masterpieces of Tacumbo.
(Dedicated to my own not-so-small-anymore sobrinas. Yes, they are the beautiful young girls in theses photos. I wanted to get them in touch with their Inner Mariachi Girl by photographing them wearing my sombrero and my charra suit. All play musical instruments. All of them, together with my sobrinito, are sweet and smart and a credit to mis hermanas—my sisters and their spouses. All of them are mi corazón. May they one day cook Mexican food just as delicious as their little abuelita who is longer here.)

Gracias to my brother-in-law I.G. for letting me post his picture of his daughter playing her violin.

Mango, Watermelon and Coconut-Pineapple Paletas

These are not recipes per se, but guides to making as little or as many paletas as you want. Of course, you can always double the recipe if you wish, especially if you have lots of slightly overripe fruit like that left-over watermelon that you have in the frig right now. If you not have any popsicles molds on hand, you can easily improvise by using small paper cups. If you want the popsicles sticks to stand up straight, simply fold some aluminum foil over the top rim of each cup, make a small center slit with a sharp knife, and insert a popsicle stick (available in supermarkets or craft stores.) To loosen the paletas from the cups or molds, just run them over with warm water from the faucet for a minute or so.

MANGO PALETAS:2 ripe mangos, peeled and finely chopped (about 2 cups)
Thick Simple Syrup (recipe to follow)
1 lime
popsicle molds; OR, small paper cups, popsicle sticks, and aluminum foil

Thick Simple Syrup Recipe: Combine 4 tablespoons granulated cane sugar with 2 tablespoons water in a small saucepan. Heat over medium-low heat, stirring constantly, until the sugar dissolves completely. Remove from heat and set aside.

Use a vegetable peeler to peel away the skin of each mango. Then, slice the flesh as close to the pit as possible. Chop the mangos into very small pieces. Take half of the chopped mango and whirl in a food processor or blender until smooth. The mixture will be thick. Pour the mixture into a bowl and dilute with a generous squeeze of fresh lime juice. Add the rest of the mango to the mixture. Add Thick Simple Syrup, one tablespoon at a time, until it is as sweet as you want (it should not be too sweet.) Pour into molds or cups.

Place them in the freezer and wait about 3 hours or until frozen.

Makes about four servings.

Sprinkle some chili powder over the paletas for a taste you will just love, I promise!

WATERMELON PALETAS:

About 2 cups fresh watermelon, chopped into smallish pieces

Thick Simple Syrup (recipe above)

1 lime

Combine the chopped watermelon and a squirt of lime. Add Thick Simple Syrup, one tablespoon at a time, until it is as sweet as you want (it should not be too sweet.)
Pour into the molds or cups. Place in the freezer and wait about 3 hours or until frozen.
Makes about four servings.

COCONUT-PINEAPPLE PALETAS:Equal portions of sweetened shredded coconut and fresh/frozen/or canned chopped pineapple—about 1 cup shredded coconut and 1 cup pineapple for this recipe.

About 2 tablespoons whipping cream (my favorite), half-and-half, milk or any other dairy product you happen to have on hand just to moisten and bind together the ingredients. If the mixture seems a little too thick, add teeny bit of pineapple juice. No need to add any sugar or Simple Syrup.
Combine all ingredients. Pour into mold or cups. Place in the freezer and wait about 3 hours or until frozen.

Serves four.

Something to Crow About

Perhaps you'll excuse me as I strut around this blog the way a mariachi singer struts around the stage while I proclaim something that we mexicanitas had long suspected. Let me cry a triumphant ¡ajúa! to the very few—and very sad—Mexican food haters who think that Mexican food is bad for you (until they read this post). Because this misunderstood and supposedly fat and mean cuisine is not just delicioso, but it can also cut your risk of coming down with breast cancer if eaten everyday.**

Well, duh, we don't need no stinkin' scientific study from the April 2008 Journal of Clinical Nutrition to know that Abuelita's native home cooked comida is not just beyond delicious, but healthy as well, now do we? Not when we consume a diet high in fiber, low in fat (yes, you read right), and abundant in fruits and vegetables such as cabbage, chiles, squash, corn, and lean meats, fish and cheeses. Not when we eat beans almost everyday, or when we enjoy hearty but low fat water-based soups, tomato-based sauces and salsas and corn tortillas. Our cheeses, most of them partly skim, are the supporting players and not the main attraction to our dishes. It's actually no surprise here that the breast cancer risk for Mexican women is two-thirds less than the general population—so if you need an excuse to eat enchiladas, well, did you ever really need an excuse???

Which brings me to the subject of Chayote Salad, a little recipe from Morelos, and the perfect introduction to this green, pear-shaped, sometimes smooth, sometimes dangerously spiny relative of the gourd and squash families. Of course, when you bite into it, you might not think that it tastes like much of anything, except perhaps a cross between a zucchini and a cucumber, but it can absorb any flavor you want, combining beautifully with almost any dish. In a soup, it will impersonate a potato. Peel it and cut it into small pieces and add it raw to a green salad, and it will satisfy those crunch cravings. Simmer or steam it, peel it and slice it into wedges and allow it to absorb the flavors of red wine vinegar, olive oil, garlic and fresh roasted and dried chiles, and, of course, those sweet little grape tomatoes—all fussily arranged into a shape of a flower to amuse and perhaps annoy your family like I do mine. Now that it is warm outside, and I am able to look at a cold salad in the face again, I promised myself that I would eat something more exciting than just a green tossed salad from a plastic bag that you buy in the grocery store. It seemed just too easy and a tad boring, frankly.

And there is more: the green wrinkled split-brain look of a chayote conjures up images of the outdoor mercados (marketplaces) of Mexico where you will find an overwhelming variety of exotic fruits and vegetables and other ingredients. Then it hits you, this food is healthy and good. These are people who are downright passionate about their food—even those persnickety little 80 year old viejitas (little old ladies), who, if they lived in Florida, would be taking it easy playing bridge or getting their hair done, are instead running around cooking up a storm or terrorizing the produce venders by loudly commenting on every fruit and vegetable they see and sniffing everything in sight. If they can live this long and healthfully by eating all of that Wicked Mexican Food, then I want in. And if that means that I have to peel a nasty looking chayote, and getting stuck by a stinger or two, then it is a sacrifice I am willing to take (though you don't have to).

They say that revenge is sweet, but I believe that there is something else that tastes entirely more satisfying. Really, what can be more delicious than a plate of vindication for my favorite cuisine with a little gloating on the side, especially when it is served hot and spicy?

So stop eating all of those golocinas y "purundangas" (sweet stuff and our family's word for junk food) that your madrecita warned you about and eat a chayote, okey?

**Note: Cancer is an equal opportunity disease, cutting across all social, national, and ethnic barriers. If you have any Spanish-speaking friends or relatives who are battling cancer, please have them check out Lance Armstrong's Livestrong Foundation's Spanish-language webpage so that they can have access to support and necessary resources.)

Chayote Salad

Ensalada de Chayotes

Make sure that the chayotes are fresh. They should be firm with no brown spots or sunken areas. The original recipe has no chile in it, so you don't have to add any to the recipe if you don't want to. I found, however, that the grape tomatoes, toasted garlic, fresh roasted chiles and bits of red hot dried chiles and some chopped cilantro added some wow factor to this cold salad. You can remove the heart of the chayote if you want, but I like its nutty flavor. You can omit the red wine vinegar and olive oil and garlic and use your own low-cal or bottled red wine vinegar dressing if you wish. Adapted from Mexico The Beautiful Cookbook.

3 smooth skinned chayotes

grape or cherry tomatoes, split in half, as many or as little as you want
6 tablespoons olive oil

3 or more tablespoons red wine vinegar to taste (3 tablespoons are never enough for me)

2 cloves garlic

½ teaspoon sea salt

¼ teaspoon ground black pepper
1 teaspoon dried oregano

¼ to ½ cup finely chopped fresh cilantro (optional)
½ red onion, finely sliced
1 fresh Poblano chile, roasted, thin-sliced or diced; OR, 2 serrano chiles, roasted and chopped if you want more fire; OR, both chiles (Click here to learn how to roast chiles.) (optional)

1 dried whole or cut up chile de árbol or any small dried red chile (optional)

Cooking Instructions:Put the chayotes, one clove of garlic, and a pinch of salt in a large pot. Cover with water and bring to a boil. Then lower heat to a simmer. Cover and cook for about 30 to 40 minutes, or until the chayotes are tender when you pierce them with a fork.

In the meantime, roast and peel the chiles. Toast the other garlic clove in its skin over a hot skillet for about 5 minutes or so.

Discard the water and let the chayotes cool for about 5 to 10 minutes.

Take a potato peeler and peel the chayotes' outer skin. Cut each chayote in half lengthwise, then cut into quarter wedges, and then cut into eighths (see picture, top). Chill them in the refrigerator for an hour or so.

Remove the chayotes from the refrigerator. Take some paper towels and dry them off to remove any excess moisture. Peel the toasted garlic

In a small bowl, stir together the olive oil, vinegar, the toasted garlic, oregano, salt and pepper and let the flavors blend.

Chop the cilantro and dice the roasted chiles.

Toss together all the ingredients, including the red hot dried chile. Add more seasonings if you wish. Let stand for a few minutes before serving.